Sunday, September 26, 2010

~28 weeks~

Reed is officially 28 weeks old tonight. He had his 6-month check-up on Friday. The doctor said he is "perfect" in every way. She was very proud of his weight - officially 12 pounds and 15 ounces. He is 24 inches long. WOW!!! My preemie baby is 2 feet long! CRAZY!!!

We have had a good week. We have all gotten our flu shots, even Reed. Anyone who is going to have any contact with him during the winter must have a flu shot. It's too risky to expose him to anyone who has not been vaccinated. He is still too susceptible to germs. Such a small price to pay for the miracle we have received. :)

Mommy is officially feeling a little better. The smallest things involving my students at school really upset me... they never used to. However, now that I've had to fight so hard for my baby to live, it breaks my heart whenever one of my students faces an issue at home. God really has changed me through all of this. Pray for my students, so many of them are so needy.

Bath time has become fun time for Reed!

Praying for a great week for each of you. Find those blessings and remember to give thanks!
Love to all,

Sunday, September 19, 2010

~~After 27 weeks.....maybe I'm NOT Superwoman~~

So my precious angel is 27 weeks old tonight!! And, I've finally come to the realization that MAYBE, just MAYBE, I'm NOT Superwoman.... Maybe??? These have been a combination of the best and worst 27 weeks of my life with all that we've endured. However, the last 27 weeks have truly taken a HUGE toll on me. I so don't want to complain, being as Reed is doing so well, but I think it's finally time I confessed that I have not held up as well as I've pretended. I've realized I'm much better at pretending than I ever gave myself credit for. :)

Going back to work being already so depleted has been extremely difficult. I have struggled terribly trying to pull it all back together and be SUPERWOMAN. I am determined to put on my big girl panties and deal with life and pull it all back may just take a little longer than I would like for it to take. I know, deep down, that one day life will resume some sort of normalcy, even if it requires me to redefine my idea of normal. I feel so guilty for being "down" and not bouncing back quickly since my baby boy is perfectly healthy. The emotional roller coaster ride that started on March 14th has not stopped yet. As Reed continues to thrive and grow, I'm just beginning to start attempting to acknowledge and process all that we went through with Reed's birth. I'm not having a pity party, but am working on being more open and sharing what's really going on with me. I "held it all together" while we were in Macon in our dark days, but they have crept in on me and now I feel like my glue is falling apart. Maybe I feel like it's safe now to fall apart, now that Reed is perfect and we know we have a lifetime to spend with him.

God blessed us with our little fellow, in spite of medical personnel telling us that he would not live, and I believe that He will settle the feelings and fear in my heart. Until then, I will continue to trust Him to carry me through these dark days until I can stand on my own two feet again. I have had to turn over a lot of things that I normally handle to Wayne in order for our lives to continue with some sort of normalcy. He has been a trooper and picked up where I left off and kept us going over the past few weeks. It has been so much harder than I ever dreamed it would be to go back to work. If it weren't for bills, I'd take a year off. However, I don't think the bill collectors would like that too much. :)

Reed goes to the doctor for his 6 month checkup and shots on Friday. I can't wait to get an official weight check!!! Unofficially, he weighs 13 pounds! We are all getting flu shots this week to be prepared in any way possible to keep our angel from getting sick.

This is where I started on my mat.....




Complete 180.....

That was hard work.... I need a snack....

I love holding my hands.... almost as much as holding my toes. :)

We have so much to be thankful for, so many we can't even count. Take time this week to find something every day that you can thank God for. He gives us so many gifts each day, and too often we forget to take time to thank Him.

Much love to all,

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

~~ My Precious Son ~~ 6 months old ~~

Dear Reed,
Six months ago today began the worst day of my life. I will never be able to put into words the fear that filled my body. The news that you had to be born that night, eleven weeks early, was absolutely terrifying. I knew that the chance of you living was very small. Medically, there was no chance of survival because of how sick your body was. Although I was scared to death, a small piece of my heart held hope - a promise that you would be okay. A promise that one day I would have the chance to take my baby boy home.

It was determined that the only way you would have a chance at life was to deliver  you immediately. Having all oxygen, food, and blood cut off from you, you were only minutes away from death. Little did we know what God had in His plan for you, us, and so many others to experience.

Dr. Asbury asked if she could pray before we went into surgery. Having a doctor pray for you and me before we went into this terrifying uncertainty definitely impacted me. From total fear, there arose in my heart a small place of peace and comfort - that could only have come from God, our one true Healer.

There were no cries from your miniature body at first...... and my heart stopped. Paralyzed by the anesthesia, I could not even open my mouth to speak. My eyes flooded with tears as I heard Apgar scores of 0 and 1 being called out - knowing 10 means a baby is perfect.

There were so many people in the operating room - it was like a circus - so much hustle and bustle that could only signify a dire emergency. Out of the blue, amidst all of the seriousness of the situation, laughter and applause erupted. The team working on you began to cheer - you had christened a few of them! I never imagined a baby tee-teeing on adults would be such a happy celebration! Thank God for the little things!

The next few hours were a blur - you were being worked on constantly by so many different people. I didn't get to hold you at any point. They came with the news that you were being sent to Macon by ambulance. Oh, the fear.....

You were brought in packed neatly in "your cage" - as Anna said. I got to see you for the first time. Oh, how beautiful you were! I could only touch your tiny foot as they rushed to wheel you out to the ambulance. Your daddy went with you in the ambulance while I stayed in the hospital in Tifton....the longest two days and nights of my life.

Many pages turn, and we finally get to bring you home to begin our real life together. Oh, the joy of finally having you at home with us. It's been so long since we had a baby in our house!

You have reached each milestone right on time, or even early. You are perfect in every way, despite your traumatic beginning in life. Your journey has opened the eyes of so many complacent Christians, and even some of non-believers. Reed, I don't see how anyone could witness the journey you've been on and not believe that there IS a God in Heaven who completely healed your sick body and restored you to complete perfection.

God kept me going through the darkest of days, Reed. I knew on the night you were born that He would take care of us all, including you. He put hope and peace in my heart - assuring me that one day you would be at home with us. He had a special plan for your life, and we are blessed to get to be your family and be a part of His awesome plan.

Reed, as your mommy, I am only human. I did nothing special but love you and pray for you while you were in NNICU. God did it all. He even worked on your mommy some, too. There will be times in your life when we, your earthly family, will fail you. But you will always have a Heavenly Father who will never fail you. Reed, He saved you and healed you for a reason. As your mommy, I can't wait to see His purpose for your precious life.

I look forward to celebrating many more milestones and birthdays with you, my precious son. Words do not exist to express the joy you have already brought to our lives. What did we do before there was a Reed McGill Putnal????

Your beautiful, angelic smile melts my heart every time I see it. I get lost in your blue eyes. Your sweet laugh brings tears to my eyes. How close we were to never experiencing any of these things......

We serve an awesome God, and we thank Him for every breath you take.

God is great; Life is good; and I'm crazy about Reed! I love you with every fiber of my being, Reed McGill Putnal!!!


Yes, we celebrated Reed's 6 month birthday with a cake tonight!! And,  YES, I let him try some icing.:)

Love to all,

Sunday, September 12, 2010

~~6 Months~~

It's hard to believe that Reed will be 6 months old on Tuesday!!! Wow! We are halfway through our house-bound stage. In a way, it seems like we've had Reed in our lives forever. Yet, in another way, it seems like only yesterday his roller coaster ride began. He has come so far in his short little life....and has taught so many grownups such powerful lessons.

Smiling for Mommy.... I love my mommy!

Bundled up after a warm bath

I LOVE to EAT!!! Tonight I'm enjoying bananas....there's nothing that I don't like!!! YUM!

Moo and the little man

Got my toes in the water; toes in my hand; not a care in the world; I got my toes in my hand. Life is good today; I'll be 6 months old Tuesday!

Just hangin' round...

No update on weight or height. Reed will go to the doctor for his six-month check up on September 24th.

We saw Dr. Asbury this week, which is always fun. :)  If I ever begin to forget what a miracle my little boy is, she will always be there to remind me of the reality of Reed's beginning. She asked me how I even began to process all that we had gone through with Reed's birth. And, I was actually honest with her, when I replied that I don't think I have processed all that happened. I believe that I keep pushing it down deeper every time the reality starts to hit me. I'm not sure if this is good or not, but this is how I am dealing with it. I'm afraid if I were to actually let it hit me, it will consume me and I won't know how to get through it.

There is so much going on with the people around us, so many people are in need of prayers as they face unknowns of their own. Life is so full of twists and turns by itself, and doesn't need any added drama. This mama can't handle the drama. My prayer tonight is that people can focus on the crisis rather than the drama created to go along with it. The absolute best thing that could have happened to us was for us to be in Macon during our crisis, away from any drama. We were able to focus solely on our precious baby and helping him in every way we could. Friends facing surgery, fighting cancer, facing a spouse being deployed, etc. all need to be able to focus on their crises with their entire beings, and need prayers to sustain them through these crises.

Lord, Please focus the minds and hearts of our friends on the crises that they are facing. No strength or energy needs to be wasted on drama created by others. Help them focus all of their being on you and fighting the battles that are before them. Our prayers are for strength to fight the battle for the life that You alone have blessed each of them with. Lord, my prayer is that they feel Your loving arms around them as they face their battles; that they feel the prayers that we are all praying for them; that they feel healing coming from You in the way that only You can do. All of this is prayed in Your Son's precious names, Amen

Every day, I rush home from work to snuggle and love on my precious little man. I pray that each of you treasures every hug, smile, laugh, cry, tear, etc. from your angels. They are truly a gift from God!

Monday, September 6, 2010

~25 Weeks~

Not a lot of new news to post about this week. Reed celebrated his 25-week birthday last night. He is eating us out of house and home in baby food. He prefers food to his bottles. I have cut him back some this weekend on the baby food in order to push his formula with cereal. He is trying to cut 4 teeth, two on top and two on bottom. He is definitely a slobber monster! We change his clothes several times a day because they become drenched with slobber! He is the happiest baby I have ever seen. He smiles and talks constantly. It amazes me that a baby who has been through so much can have such a happy demeanor and loving personality.

A very dear friend of mine was diagnosed last week with breast cancer. This really hits home because she is like a sister to me. We plan to walk with them through this dark time as they did with us during our dark time. 2010 has definitely been a very hard year with many rough spots, and we pray that it will go out much more quietly than it came in. Please pray for my friend as we begin this journey through the removal of this cancer and the healing of her body.

We never know what tomorrow holds for us, but we can rest in the fact that we know who holds tomorrow. He promises not to give us more than we can handle, even when we doubt ourselves. Thank you, God, for right now....the moment at enjoy friends and family.

Love to all,