~~After 27 weeks.....maybe I'm NOT Superwoman~~

So my precious angel is 27 weeks old tonight!! And, I've finally come to the realization that MAYBE, just MAYBE, I'm NOT Superwoman.... Maybe??? These have been a combination of the best and worst 27 weeks of my life with all that we've endured. However, the last 27 weeks have truly taken a HUGE toll on me. I so don't want to complain, being as Reed is doing so well, but I think it's finally time I confessed that I have not held up as well as I've pretended. I've realized I'm much better at pretending than I ever gave myself credit for. :)

Going back to work being already so depleted has been extremely difficult. I have struggled terribly trying to pull it all back together and be SUPERWOMAN. I am determined to put on my big girl panties and deal with life and pull it all back together.....it may just take a little longer than I would like for it to take. I know, deep down, that one day life will resume some sort of normalcy, even if it requires me to redefine my idea of normal. I feel so guilty for being "down" and not bouncing back quickly since my baby boy is perfectly healthy. The emotional roller coaster ride that started on March 14th has not stopped yet. As Reed continues to thrive and grow, I'm just beginning to start attempting to acknowledge and process all that we went through with Reed's birth. I'm not having a pity party, but am working on being more open and sharing what's really going on with me. I "held it all together" while we were in Macon in our dark days, but they have crept in on me and now I feel like my glue is falling apart. Maybe I feel like it's safe now to fall apart, now that Reed is perfect and we know we have a lifetime to spend with him.

God blessed us with our little fellow, in spite of medical personnel telling us that he would not live, and I believe that He will settle the feelings and fear in my heart. Until then, I will continue to trust Him to carry me through these dark days until I can stand on my own two feet again. I have had to turn over a lot of things that I normally handle to Wayne in order for our lives to continue with some sort of normalcy. He has been a trooper and picked up where I left off and kept us going over the past few weeks. It has been so much harder than I ever dreamed it would be to go back to work. If it weren't for bills, I'd take a year off. However, I don't think the bill collectors would like that too much. :)

Reed goes to the doctor for his 6 month checkup and shots on Friday. I can't wait to get an official weight check!!! Unofficially, he weighs 13 pounds! We are all getting flu shots this week to be prepared in any way possible to keep our angel from getting sick.

This is where I started on my mat.....

Turning....

Turning....

Turning...

Complete 180.....

That was hard work.... I need a snack....

I love holding my hands.... almost as much as holding my toes. :)



We have so much to be thankful for, so many we can't even count. Take time this week to find something every day that you can thank God for. He gives us so many gifts each day, and too often we forget to take time to thank Him.

Much love to all,