Six months ago today began the worst day of my life. I will never be able to put into words the fear that filled my body. The news that you had to be born that night, eleven weeks early, was absolutely terrifying. I knew that the chance of you living was very small. Medically, there was no chance of survival because of how sick your body was. Although I was scared to death, a small piece of my heart held hope - a promise that you would be okay. A promise that one day I would have the chance to take my baby boy home.
It was determined that the only way you would have a chance at life was to deliver you immediately. Having all oxygen, food, and blood cut off from you, you were only minutes away from death. Little did we know what God had in His plan for you, us, and so many others to experience.
Dr. Asbury asked if she could pray before we went into surgery. Having a doctor pray for you and me before we went into this terrifying uncertainty definitely impacted me. From total fear, there arose in my heart a small place of peace and comfort - that could only have come from God, our one true Healer.
There were no cries from your miniature body at first...... and my heart stopped. Paralyzed by the anesthesia, I could not even open my mouth to speak. My eyes flooded with tears as I heard Apgar scores of 0 and 1 being called out - knowing 10 means a baby is perfect.
There were so many people in the operating room - it was like a circus - so much hustle and bustle that could only signify a dire emergency. Out of the blue, amidst all of the seriousness of the situation, laughter and applause erupted. The team working on you began to cheer - you had christened a few of them! I never imagined a baby tee-teeing on adults would be such a happy celebration! Thank God for the little things!
The next few hours were a blur - you were being worked on constantly by so many different people. I didn't get to hold you at any point. They came with the news that you were being sent to Macon by ambulance. Oh, the fear.....
You were brought in packed neatly in "your cage" - as Anna said. I got to see you for the first time. Oh, how beautiful you were! I could only touch your tiny foot as they rushed to wheel you out to the ambulance. Your daddy went with you in the ambulance while I stayed in the hospital in Tifton....the longest two days and nights of my life.
Many pages turn, and we finally get to bring you home to begin our real life together. Oh, the joy of finally having you at home with us. It's been so long since we had a baby in our house!
You have reached each milestone right on time, or even early. You are perfect in every way, despite your traumatic beginning in life. Your journey has opened the eyes of so many complacent Christians, and even some of non-believers. Reed, I don't see how anyone could witness the journey you've been on and not believe that there IS a God in Heaven who completely healed your sick body and restored you to complete perfection.
God kept me going through the darkest of days, Reed. I knew on the night you were born that He would take care of us all, including you. He put hope and peace in my heart - assuring me that one day you would be at home with us. He had a special plan for your life, and we are blessed to get to be your family and be a part of His awesome plan.
Reed, as your mommy, I am only human. I did nothing special but love you and pray for you while you were in NNICU. God did it all. He even worked on your mommy some, too. There will be times in your life when we, your earthly family, will fail you. But you will always have a Heavenly Father who will never fail you. Reed, He saved you and healed you for a reason. As your mommy, I can't wait to see His purpose for your precious life.
I look forward to celebrating many more milestones and birthdays with you, my precious son. Words do not exist to express the joy you have already brought to our lives. What did we do before there was a Reed McGill Putnal????
Your beautiful, angelic smile melts my heart every time I see it. I get lost in your blue eyes. Your sweet laugh brings tears to my eyes. How close we were to never experiencing any of these things......
We serve an awesome God, and we thank Him for every breath you take.
God is great; Life is good; and I'm crazy about Reed! I love you with every fiber of my being, Reed McGill Putnal!!!
Love,
Mommy
Love to all,
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